Wondering

Really had a lot of trouble today. Don't really know what's going to happen with my grandfather. He looked pretty bad today. (Yesterday he told me the hospital wouldn't have released him if he wasn't well. I think he may have another opinion today. I don't think he's feeling good.)

Feeling a little guilty, because I said some really harsh things to him. Things that are the truth, but I don't think he wanted to hear them. Mainly about his kids and how sorry they really are. But that's me. I'm very blunt and to the point. No point in beating around a bush.

Also worried about other bigger news. Something that I hope is true, but I'm scared to let myself believe that it's really happening. We'll have to see how that pans out.

Also trying to figure out a shopping list for Christmas. And trying to plan out activities to do this month. I really want to make it special by doing all the small things that come with Christmas. Driving around looking at Christmas lights is a big one on my list.

Now I'm off to bed, hopefully I can get rid of this headache that I've had all day. It's really been a pain.

Yuck!!!

Things not going well. My grandfather was back in the hospital this week. I'm really getting worried that he'll lose some more pieces off his foot.

Just had a huge fight with him. He's old and yes I understand he's taken care of himself for this long. But he's not doing a great job at it. And then gets mad at DH and I when we step in.

Then called his son, the man that donated sperm that created me. And I have to say that's the only thing that piece of sh!t has ever done good for me. He denied that my grandfather was his father, and hung up on me. I understand that he doesn't want to deal with the man. But the sperm donor will call my grandfather if he needs something. Makes me so mad. Not that I need the man's help. But it is his father, for goodness sake. My grandfather could use the help.

So the hospital released my grandfather. And I knew it was strange. When I talked to the Dr today, she told me she would only let him go if his regular Dr could see him in the next 2 days. Well, he came home with no appointment. So in the middle of the fight, he informs me, that he did talk to his regular Dr and she offered him an appointment for tomorrow, but he didn't take it. Talk about being angry again. I just don't understand why he can't get it through his head that these infections are very serious.

I take that back, I do understand why he can't understand. He's 81 and a man. Not to offend anyone, but he is acting more and more like a child. And for some reason it has fallen on me to be caretaker. I guess that's because his daughter is so busy with her family. And his son is a piece of sh!t. Really I don't what my grandparents were thinking when they raised those 2.

I hate to admit this, but I'm not going to fight with him every month. We have had the same fight the last 2 months. He says he can take care of himself, and I say he needs help. Next month, if this same fight comes up, I'll let him take care of himself and he'll have to go back to live with his daughter. I can only do so much. And I have had it up to here. I can't help someone that isn't willing to have help. I can't let this situation affect my marriage. I'm taking my frustrations out on my husband who is a wonderful man. He's taken my grandfather to appointments, checked on him at the hospital and just generally been there to help me. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have him.

I think it used to bother my husband that I didn't have a lot of contact with my family. But I think he's starting to see why I don't. My family isn't anything like his big loving family. Lucky for us we spent Thanksgiving with them. Those happy memories have helped me lot in the past few days.

I hope that I can get through this week. I need another vacation. Maybe I can talk DH into a trip at Christmas to see his family. I think that would be nice. (I don't think that will happen, but I can dream.)

Ali thinks I have good ideas.

Took a little time to check out some of my favorite blogs the other day. And stumbled across a post about Advent calendar boxes on Ali Edward's blog (click her name to go to her blog). Here's a link to the post Ali's Christmas Project #3 . Go read about the project. It sound really cool. And if you have kids, I'm sure they'll love it. I left a comment about the project on her blog, which I rarely do.

Here's what I said. "I think it would be cool to find a big (and ornate) frame from a estate sale, junk store, or yard sale and back it with plywood. You could use paint or decorative paper to decorate the plywood. Then you have a framed piece to hang. And it's reusable."

So fast forward to today, when I'm checking a few blogs again. Friday, Ali posted a few replies and comments about the comments left by visitors on that post.

And I saw this comment by Ali, "3. loved the idea of a big old frame to go around the outside of the grouped boxes - may try that one next year"

So I go and check, I think I was the only one to mention the frame. So even if my family doesn't think I have good ideas...Ali does.

I lost more than a month.

Man,
I knew October was going to busy. But then the surprise trip to the emergency room with my grandfather who is 81 and lives with my husband and I. And his week long stay in the hospital after one of his toes was amputated... I really got so far behind. I'm slowly digging myself out. It's hard to keep up with his appointments. Someone has to go with him, when he visits a doctor. And since his children won't take the responsibility, it fall on my shoulders. And he's blessed that I'm married to such a wonderful man, since my DH has gone with him about half the time.

I had to take time to do a few things that I wanted to do. Like joining the Digital Scrapbooking Day fun at www.scrapbookgraphics.com It was fun day. And I needed to have a day just to myself.

I'm also behind in my class at www.jessicasprague.com I can tell you the techniques we're learning this round are really cool, but I haven't had time to do my layouts.

And one more thing, if you do scrap digitally, please go check out www.songbirdavenue.com It's a great site that has a charity scrapbook kit each month. All proceeds go to a different charity each month. This month "Toys for Tots" benefits from the kit. Check out this great kit.


Click the photo to see it bigger.
Hope you check out Songbird Avenue. And maybe it won't be so long until my next post.